Not paralyzing fear, but crippling. Crippling in the sense that my decisions and/or actions were always surrounded by “fears.”
Fear of the unknown. Fear of not being liked. Fear of never being loved. Fear of messing up. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of failure. Fear of not saying the right thing. Fear of saying the right thing the wrong way. And the list goes on.
I think that is why worry was such a problem for me. I worried because I was afraid.
My parents tried to solve my problems by pouring Bible verses about worry into my life. They would paste verses about worry on signs and motivational sayings around my room and on my mirrors to encourage me that worry was wrong, in fact, they would say, “Worry is a sin. Don’t do it.”
Well, that’s easier said than done isn’t it?
Today, I saw this saying on someone’s instagram post. “A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.” by Gina Carey.
It stopped me in my tracks. Today, I feel the power of that statement. Over the past fews weeks I have attacked challenges and struggles in ways that I never did in the past. And, I feel like winking at them.
Why? Why now in all my years have I suddenly felt empowered to say what I think and stand up without worry that I was going to mess situations up?
Fear is very real. It comes from an inner voice in our heads that cause us anxiety.
How do we lose fear?
1. The truth is there is one factor in overcoming fear. It’s you. We play the inner doubts in our minds and let the anxiety take over. Instead, play this. “I matter. My thoughts. My instincts. My desires. I am as important as everyone in this room.” Think about others and not so much about yourself. Just those two little mind shifts will help.
2. Work on the areas in your life that could use improvement. Ouch! I don’t like to think about my weaknesses. Face it. We all have them. I remember a specific time in my life that my teacher came and stood by my desk and said, “Something smells in here. Does everyone smell it?” She looked at me and walked on. Scarring? Yes. Inappropriate? Yes. As I grew up though, I learned to take circumstances like that and make sure I learned from them. I grew from the criticisms instead of letting the criticisms cripple me. I tried harder. Prepared more. Researched and became competitive. It is also important to know you have limits and respect them. You will never please all the people all of the time. That’s ok.
You reject yourself when you know you have more to deliever and don’t do it.
3. Understand why you are afraid. Analyzing the why will help you know if the fear has validity or if just rethinking your inner thoughts can help you overcome your fears and build your confidence.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead of looking at the best in others and telling yourself you don’t measure up– look at others and how they can inspire you to achieve the results you want. Again, the focus shift will measure your success. Focus on the good in others and how it can help you!
5. Write down the things about yourself you are grateful for. Next, write down the things others have done for you that help you to be the person you want to be. In moments of self-doubt you can come back to this list and focus on the positive instead of the negative.
Will these tips change you overnight? No. Total freedom from worry and fear might not ever happen. But…what if? Perhaps with one baby step you could begin to experience a freedom to escape from self-doubt and enjoy a whole new world of activities? What a life it would be!
You are enough. I can see you now…winking at the day and enjoying whatever it brings!
I would love to hear if you experience fear and worry and how you have overcome it!
Until next time–this is just me–talking to you–From the Wings.
As I write this it has not been decided who will be the next President of the United States.
It has been a long campaign season…well, it’s been a long year in many ways.
Theater is such a wonderful way to escape my everyday problems. I’m sad that the lessons from theater and entertainment aren’t available to us right now. But I find myself thinking about it anyway.
Politics and Theater? It all makes me think about Julius Caesar. (Yes. I’m that much of a theater geek….Oh, you thought I was talking about history?? Well, hang on.) It seems there was a recent production that styled their Caesar after a recent President. It began making political waves. Is this a shock? No. Theater has always been political. In fact, almost every play engages with the politics of its time in some way.
Here are a few political plays and musicals to put on your watch list.
1. Mary Stuart (1800) by Friedrich Schiller I love Elizabethan history. I am so thankful that we live in a time that you don’t get your head cut off just for being on the wrong side of an argument! No one understood better than Schiller the devious ways of politics. At first glance one could be fooled that this is simply a romantic tragedy about two warring queens, Elizabeth I and Mary Stuart. The most famous scene; however, shows Elizabeth beset by contradictory arguments about Mary’s fate. Should she be beheaded? Should she be forgiven and banished or should she live under the threat of…well…the axe?
2. The Crucible (1953) by Arthur Miller Did you know that Miller’s historical drama about the Salem witch trials of 1692 was inspired by Senator Joe McCarthy’s House Un-American Activities Committee and its persecution of suspected communists? Like most plays, the deep meanings are not the ones simple to find. Set in 1692, inspired by events of 1938, and yet the plot of this play can resonate with us today. It is about a community plagued by guilt, suspicion and fear. What is truth?
3. Richard III by William Shakespeare I did just mention Julius Caesar, but if you want a Shakespeare play that really makes you think of dirty politics try this one. Shakespeare’s Richard is most likely more of a despicable tyrant than the historical Richard was, but the story of his rise to power is very much the story of a dangerous, charismatic man seizing power from people who refuse to take him seriously.
4. 1776 by Sherman Edwards and Peter Stone. The show is based on the events leading up to the signing of the Declaration of Independence, telling a story of the efforts of John Adams to persuade his colleagues to vote for American independence and to sign the document.
5. Of Thee I Sing by George and Ira Gershwin This musical lampoons American politics; the story concerns John P. Wintergreen, who runs for President of the United States on the “love” platform. When he falls in love with the sensible Mary Turner instead of Diana Devereaux, the beautiful pageant winner selected for him, he gets into political hot water.
Politics. Not something I love or enjoy. I don’t think it brings out the best in anyone. Sadly, I don’t think we can escape politics. Perhaps in this moment you think that the election is over and we don’t have to deal with ads or debates or news media twisting the facts and that may be true in that arena. However, politics exists in every area of our lives. We deal with dishonesty, corruption, lies, slander, backbiting, climbing to get to the top and much more in our workplace, with friends and sadly even the church. So, what do we do?
1) Laugh long and often. Even at yourself.
2) Remember the words to the old chorus: “This world is not my home I’m just a passin’ through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.” Keep your eyes on the prize.
3) Hold yourself to a higher standard. Remember, we are all sinners. Worship our God not men.
4) God will hold you fast. Rest in that.
5) Watch plays and musicals. Trust me.
Have you watched a political play that I’ve forgotten? What do you think of the ones I’ve listed here?
Until next time! This is just me talking to you….From the wings.
Who are the truly great actors of our generation? And what makes them great?
It is easy to imitate a character or even an emotion, but is there realism in that? Can you do it again?
Creating realistic characters comes from knowing the character inside and out. This comes from a process of devouring the text/script. Learn everything you can about the character: what they look like, what their history is, how they think, feel, respond. Study everything that the script says about them and everything they say about themselves.
Aim to play this person as truthfully as possible. Don’t merely create a caricature. Be real. So many times people just recite lines. That isn’t acting at all.
I’m sure you have heard these questions before: 1. Who am I? 2. Where am I? 3. When is it? 4. Where have I been? 5. Where was I just before entering? 6. Why am I in the scene? What do I want? 7. Why do I want it? 8. What is this scene without me? 9. How will I get what I want? 10. What stands in my way?
Acting takes work. Consider having a notebook and recording all the answers to the questions above.
Next research history. What does history say about this time period or topic? What were politics, art, literature, foods, fashion and even religion like? Cut out pictures and descriptions and fill your notebook with those images.
You will not be able to find every detail about the character you have been given the responsibility to portray. So after you have finished your research, use your imagination to fill in the details and bring your character to life.
Use research and imagination together. Never use one without the other.
Once in awhile an actor comes along who is truly great. You can’t always teach someone how to become a good actor. But using this technique will help start the process.
Sometimes getting to know a character takes more time than others. Recently, Overshadowed was two weeks into a performance run when COVID shut us down. Months later we reopened to finish our run. Our characters changed. Why? We had more time to really get to know them. We thought about them for months. Also, we changed. I saw the desperation of Carrie Watts through different eyes.
We talk about that experience in a new episode of our new You Tube channel.
We are still trying to grow our You Tube so that people at least can find it when they search. We have been told that we need more subscribers before that will happen. Would you take a moment to join us?
Do you have a chosen technique to assure that your character is real? I’d love to hear about it.
Here’s to moments on the stage that leave the audience breathless. Let’s create them together.
When COVID shut our country down months ago, my husband and I found ourselves in front of the TV night and after night. When we determined that this crisis was not going to go away anytime soon, we started to try to figure out how to change what we were watching as well as breaking it up so that we weren’t just watching mindless TV EVERY NIGHT.
We established Friday night movie night. He brings home a nice take-out dinner and I pick three movies for him to choose from. Then we have Sunday night documentaries–look at us being all educational!! I usually let him pick that as well.
This past Sunday our conversation went something like this:
Me: “Do you know what documentary you want to watch tonight?”
Me: “Okay. Which one?”
Him: “The Trial of the Chicago 7.”
I had seen that advertised and knew that it was something I wanted to check out, but hadn’t had the chance to do it yet so….
Me: “Great! I thought that looked interesting too.”
Fast forward five minutes into the movie.
Me: “This doesn’t seem like a documentary to me.”
Me: “You pulled a fast one, didn’t you? This is a movie.”
Him: “Yes. I wanted to see it. And it’s a little like a documentary.”
Uh No. No, it isn’t.
What is the difference?
Actors. Generally, documentaries use real people in real situations to tell a story. (Sometimes they do reenact the stories as well.) Films use actors. And man, was the acting good in this one.
Fantastic Beasts star Eddie Redmayne plays anti-war activist Tom Hayden. Sacha Baron Cohen assumes the role of fellow protester Abbie Hoffman. The Black Panther Party co-founder Bobby Seale is portrayed by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (Watchmen), and Snowden’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt is prosecuting lawyer Richard Schultz. Throw in Frank Langella and Micheal Keaton and you see this cast of full of acting power! Their characters were believable and realistic. That alone made the movie worth watching!
2. Escape vs. Reality. The general purpose of a film is to entertain. Documentaries are meant to inform or confront the audience with reality. Now, granted, documentaries want to engage their audience and a movie can be informative, but what is the motivation?
Sorkin’s film, hit Netflix on Oct. 16 and tells the story of the riots at the 1968 Chicago Democratic National Convention and the circus-like trial of political activists that followed the next year. Research seems to indicate that Steven Spielberg first mentioned the idea to Sorkin in ideas of themes–civil unrest, politics, police brutality, tensions in all political areas –over 14 years ago.
“I never wanted the film to be about 1968,” Sorkin says in an interview with Hollywood Reporter, I never wanted it to be an exercise in nostalgia or a history lesson. I wanted it to be about today. But I never imagined that today would get so much like 1968.”
3. Fact or Fiction. Movies are usually mostly fiction. They can be based on actual events or people, but elements get added and directors admittedly take creative license. Documentaries are non-fiction. The director might shape it a certain way, but they don’t add elements to the stories.
Was it good? Yes. And if the purpose was to get me to know more about this historic event, it succeeded. It was brilliantly written. The dialogue between the judge and Abbie Hoffman alone is worth the watch.
If the purpose was to awaken me to the horrors of police brutality and racial injustice it failed. Not because it didn’t show events that were horrific because it did and at first I was outraged. Taking a deeper look troubled me.
I believe part of the problem with our culture right now is that we have lost understanding of the truth. Our leaders, social media, politicians, news outlets– shout their story–twisting just a little bit here or there until we either follow blindly or turn our minds off because it is too overwhelming. Once in awhile there is the brilliant person who can make sense out of the whole mess. Why take a story that was deeply rooted in police brutality, racial injustice and twist it to make it worse? The story itself was terrible.
In twisting and adding to the story, I believe you make it a fictional story. One that we need not take seriously. There is a huge danger to that because indeed, it is a story that needs to be told. There is another danger, and that is that we allow ourselves to be shaped by what entertainments sources tell us or what us to believe instead of digging and learning the truth. People, there is power in the truth! FIND IT!
Many of the protesters were in response to the Vietnam War. As I write that, my fingers refuse to type for a few more moments. My dad and countless number of his friends fought in that war. I’ll never forget standing next to him at one of the Vietnam Walls as he searched for the names of his friends. My dad was a hero. My dad and countless others served, fought, bled and some died so that we could have freedom. I know the protestors had their reasons to be against the war, but where would we be now without all of our heroes who bled and died for our freedoms?
This year has been a struggle. We all know the reasons and we all know how we have responded.
What have we come to, America? What have we come to, Christians? Do we rise up to stop bullying, slander and injustice….untruth?
Are you part of it? Do you speak out? Or has fear caused you to “hide your light”?
I know I have been all over the place with this post, but I believe this is a story that needs to be told.
Several years ago our church was in a bad place. About ten of us decided to start a Bible study outside of the church. We read the book, Crazy Love. If you haven’t read it, do it. It will change your life when you get a small picture of how much God loves you.
Anyway, one of the ladies told us that she was going to begin to pray for a certain thing to happen that would allow our church to heal. We all laughed at her. Seriously.
But she kept praying. And praying. We told her that God was big enough for that to happen, but we didn’t think He would grant us that answer. But still she prayed. With faith. Nothing wavering.
And the prayer was answered. And then she started praying for the next step in the healing process and… well, you understand.
Maybe it’s time for us to become reacquainted with our faith and the power of prayer. It might be a really good time to drop to our knees and ask God for help, grace, mercy and compassion.
Who is with me???
P.S. Watch The Trial of the Chicago Seven. I’d love to know what conclusions you come to!
I have successfully completed another month of reading one book a week. I’m pretty proud of this month because I did it even while I was studying my lines every day for the play that closed this month. Maybe….maybe I have successfully regained the love I used to have for this and found time for my new habit.
It is possible to read this book without reading Book One first, but I’d recommend reading, The Sea Before Us first.
The series tells the story of three brothers who are estranged by an event. Each book highlights the story of a different brother. Reading book one will give you a better understanding of the pain of these brothers.
Violet Lindstrom wants to be a missionary like her great aunt, but for now she is in the American Red Cross Aeroclub in England. She wrestles with her inner demons because she believes God wants her to be working with children but that is only a small part of her job. She is recovering from a broken engagement and the men around her are crude and immoral. Except for the kindly Lt. Adler Paxton, whom she met on the boat ride over.
When Adler meets Violet, he is attracted to her but determines to avoid her. A tragic decision during a family outing led to the death of his fiancée, and in the hours immediately following that calamity Adler made some decisions that hurt a lot of people he loved. He refuses to believe that he is worth having any joy in his life as a result of his bad decisions.
We all know that God is bigger than all of our inner doubts and this is a sweet love story as God reaches out to both of them.
I enjoyed this book even more than I did the first one.
Sundin has a campy, quirky style of writing that is easy to read. I love the way she combines the plot points- such as the dangers the men faced on their missions, and the vital work of the Red Cross – by keeping the focus on how these things affect the characters. In this tale, there is also a mystery that is perfect for the storyline and is ideally utilized to show growth by Violet.
If you like Christian Historical Fiction then you will love this book! The plot tackles some big issues as the main character needs to learn how to forgive himself and others. Humility is one of those sins people don’t talk about very often and I love that this character has to deal with that as well.
Warning: There is a big plot reveal that deals with some sexual decisions in Adler’s past. When I first read the book I was able to dismiss the behaviors as plot developments. Now, thinking back, I’m a little disturbed that it was wrapped up in too nice of a package. It was confusing how violently Violet reacts to Adler’s past. I loved how she came to terms with his behavior, but I did it make sense for her to be so unforgiving at all? I think reacting in disappointment might have made more sense.
In spite of that, I really did enjoy the book. In fact, I liked it even more than I did the first one. The characters were fantastic and I loved that there were things about them that made them extraordinary. There are things to relate to in Violet if you grew up thinking that you needed to be a good “church” kid. There comes a time when you obey because God lives in your heart not just because you are doing as you are told. I love Violet’s journey to discovering for herself what God wants her to do.
I have all ready ordered the third book in the series! I can’t wait to read it!
As usual Sundin writes detailed historical descriptions.
Who should read this? Lovers of history, World War II, and love!
“Wars weren’t won with caution, and aces weren’t made in straight and level flight.”
Once again, God was winning the wrestling match, and Adler silently thanked him. For most of his life, he thought he’d deserved all of it. God had waited to give it to him until Adler knew he deserved none of it.”
Book #2 What the Wind Knows by Amy Harmon
From the back cover:
In an unforgettable love story, a woman’s impossible journey through the ages could change everything…
Anne Gallagher grew up enchanted with her grandfather’s stories of Ireland. Heartbroken at his death, she travels to his childhood home to spread his ashes. There, overcome with memories of the man she adored and consumed by a history she never knew, she is pulled into another time.
The Ireland of 1921, teetering on the edge of war, is a dangerous place in which to awaken. But there Anne finds herself, hurt, disoriented, and under the care of Dr. Thomas Smith, guardian to a young boy who is oddly familiar. Mistaken for the boy’s long-missing mother, Anne adopts her identity, convinced the woman’s disappearance is connected to her own.
As tensions rise, Thomas joins the struggle for Ireland’s independence and Anne is drawn into the conflict beside him. Caught between history and her heart, she must decide whether she’s willing to let go of the life she knew for a love she never thought she’d find. But in the end, is the choice actually hers to make?”
I am a big fan of things that involve time travel. Amy’s dialogue and description pulled me in from the first paragraph. Although I didn’t know where the story was going I felt Annie’s love for her grandfather and Ireland from the start. I didn’t want to put the book down–almost feeling that if I did the magic would come to an end.
I, too, had a grandfather that I loved deeply so as we learn the details about Eoin’s (Anne’s grandfather) past and he begins to share stories with her I just wanted more. I LOVED their relationship. What a brilliantly written connection between them.
I learned so much about Ireland’s history. I was intrigued by how Anne was able to remember stories from history that her grandfather had taught her and it reminds me to listen to older people. They can give you the world in their words. I must admit, the historical detail was a tad too much for me and I had to really concentrate to get it to play out in my mind. But I enjoyed it immensely! I especially liked the details as Anne had to adjust to her life without the modern day clothes and ….other items.
And the love story? I didn’t want it to end. I was so afraid that it wasn’t possible for it to continue, but I desperately wanted it to. One word. EPIC.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes. Honestly, I could have pages of them. I love the way Amy writes. There is a certain romance in the way she uses words.
“We turn memories into stories, and if we don’t, we lose them. If the stories are gone, then the people are gone too.”
“Time was the one thing I wanted and the one thing no one could give me.”
“I’d heard once that our view of God has everything to do with those who taught us about Him. Our image of Him often reflected our image of them. Eoin taught me about God, and because I loved and cherished Eoin, I loved and cherished God.”
“When you are old and grey and full of sleep,” he repeated over the chuckling, “and nodding by the fire, take down this book, and slowly read, and dream of the soft look your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep; how many loved your moments of glad grace, and loved your beauty with love false or true, but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, and loved the sorrows of your changing face.”
“I’d been wrong about one thing. These were not average men and women. Time had not given them a gloss they had not earned. Even those I wanted to loathe, based on my own research and conclusions, conducted themselves with fervor and honest conviction. These weren’t posing politicians. They were patriots whose blood and sacrifice deserved history’s pardon and Ireland’s compassion.”
“Don’t write a book about Ireland’s history, Annie. There are plenty of those. Write a love story.’ ‘I still have to have context, Eoin,’ I argued, smiling. ‘Yes. You do. But don’t let the history detract you from the people who lived it.”
Poetic, lyrical, charming, heart-warming. Who is this book for? Lovers of historical fiction. Historical romance. Science fiction (time travel)
I was deep into this book before the first mention of sexual activities. There are several.
Do you remember the first time someone really close to you died? My dad’s mother died when I was in third grade, but we were in Germany so I wasn’t around to experience it. My Mom’s dad died when I was in Jr High and I remember it vividly. Why is it that when we first think about someone dying, all we think about are the good memories? There is the old saying, “Never speak ill of the dead.”
Isn’t it okay to still learn the good and the bad after someone is gone?
In her memoir, All That You Leave Behind, Erin Lee Carr graces us with all the wisdom imparted to her by her late father, renowned New York Times’ columnist David Carr. Told through a series of emails, Carr’s debut novel documents each dad-to-daughter pep talk that shaped her life and career.
When I started reading this book I believed it was going to be filled with these priceless letters of whit and wisdom. I was reminded that I as a human need to put my words in writing and write the people who mean something to me. That’s about as far as my love for this book goes.
Carr inherits more than career wisdom from her father. She also inherits his love for excessive drinking. Her memoir tells us the lessons that she learned from her father–both good and bad. Erin is indeed a disaster. Every time she gets a break she ruins it with her black-outs or being too drunk to behave respectfully. I respect her ability to look at herself in light of her father’s eyes. It’s a hard look because it is very ugly.
What I found more disappointing is that what could have been a touching reminder of a father’s love became an annoying perspective that became frightening. As a father do you have to do hard things sometimes? Absolutely. Do you have to deliver them with hate and coldness? No. If this book was supposed to make me like and respect David Carr it failed miserably. After reading this I think of him as a talented journalist who failed with his communications within his family.
On the cover it states: “This book shows that love does not end after death, nor should it.” That is the whole reason I read this book. Did it show me that? Hmmm. maybe. Blind love? The love that only a daughter can have for her father. Defanately.
This book was not at all what I expected. I wanted a book about a father’s love and relationship as he mentors his daughter and watches her grow. I got a book about Erin’s failures.
Things I liked:
That it was raw and honest. It didn’t hold back from really delivering punches.
I loved the list of things she learned from David that are in the back of the book.
I also loved her list of what she read while she was writing this.
“Storytelling still attains…and that means characters and import, but also editing and writing.”
“I started to understand the spasm of grief. Once someone close to you dies, you feel loss more plainly, as it is a part of your everyday experience. It feels crushing as the wave hits you, but then you can see the tide begin to drift in and out again after the storm.
“Whenever I would send him a flare email, his response was always relentlessly positive and made me feel like I was part of a tribe, a team. That someone was taking care of me. I knew, then and now, that this was a rare relationship for a child to have with a parent.”
Warning! Language. Lots. Difficult subject matter included abuse of …well, almost everything.
Book #4 The Last Flight by Julie Clark
Two women. Two flights. One last chance to disappear.
Claire Cook’s husband is ambitious, admired, and from a powerful and influential family with deep pockets. Behind closed doors, he has a temper that burns as bright as his promising political career.
Claire is making plans to disappear.
But then she meets Eva James and her future is changed once again, but what has she gotten herself into now?
Julie Clark describes The Last Flight as a story about two women, both of whom have been victimized by men under different circumstances and in different settings. Now they both are seeking to run away. She knew her main character had to be a woman with “an inner strength, even if her current situation didn’t allow her to use it.”
I don’t think I have enjoyed any of my books as much as I did this one. I LOVED the characters. I rooted for both of them. Feared for both of them. Hated the circumstances and people who forced them to have to choose these paths.
If you had to make a hard decision like this, could you? Both of these women are strong and determined and afraid. As a reader, I was caught up with both of the stories and couldn’t wait to finish one chapter and start the next so that I could see what would unravel to reveal itself next.
To say I was captivated would be an understatement. I love books with an unusual plot that I don’t figure out and this one had me all the way.
It is interesting to note that Clark uses alternating narratives. Claire’s story is told in first person. Eva’s is told in third person. I loved that. For me, it added to the mystery.
The book is full of new plot developments and shocks. It will leave you with plenty of room for discussion!
Very easy to say! I LOVED IT! You will be thinking about this one long after you put it down.
“Eva could walk away with no regrets, knowing for certain the past held nothing of value for her. That sometimes, the death of a dream can finally set you free.”
“It’s a system that tells women we are unreliable, and then expendable. That our truths don’t matter when set side by side with a man’s.
“Are we who we say we are, or do we become the person others see?”
“Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”
“If we don’t tell our own stories, we’ll never take control of the narrative.”
“If you pay attention, solutions always appear. But you have to be brave enough to see them.”
What are you reading? Did you read any of these? I’d love to hear what you think!
Until next time this is just me talking to you, From the wings!
I’m not sure exactly when this tradition started, but somewhere in the last 15 years it has become my habit to either have a pre-show dance party with my fellow castmates or have a play-list that I listen to that has music specifically picked for the show I am in.
The Trip to Bountiful was no different. I picked these songs back in February and at sometime during show day I listen to them.
Here are the songs I picked for Bountiful.
1) Finally Home by MercyMe. Carrie Watts has one desire: to get back to Bountiful before she dies. One of the lines in Finally Home is “When I finally make it home, I will gaze upon the throne of the King. All the questions that I swore I would ask just won’t come yet.” Finally Home. I think it means the same thing to Carrie.
2) I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe This song has always been one of my favorites. I’m not sure how we will feel when we see Jesus face to face for the first time. What will we feel? What will we do? I like to think of Carrie finally seeing her Lord where she can sing hymns for all eternity!
3) We Remember by Newsboys This song lists miracles and angels and promises of God and reminds us to not forget the lessons including death has no power and that God died for us at Calvary! Yes, God, we remember and so does Carrie!
4) The Greatest Show. Well, what can I say? Is there any other song that gets your heart beating and energized more that this one? It begins, “Ladies and Gents, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for.” I feel like that every moment right before we go on stage. We can’t wait to get out and perform!
5) No One Knows Who I Am. Carrie has lost her strength and dignity. She feels like no one knows her any longer. She wants to go home to find her one true friend and remember all the things that made her who she is.
6) This is the Moment.“When I send all my doubts and demons on their way.” Carrie needed to make a decision that running away is the only thing she can do. It is a chance, a chance to see everything she has been dreaming about for years. She wants to prove she is still worth something to the world.
7) Circle Of Life from The Lion King. Carrie has a speech at the end of the play when she realizes that she can’t fight the circle of life. Things don’t stay the same way. Crops grow. Land wears out. The next generation doesn’t have the same values. Life changes. It’s life. What can we learn from it?
8) I Can’t Get Next to You by The Osmond Brothers. Well, the Osmond Brothers are a guilty pleasure. They remind me of being young and all the things that being a teenager meant to me. Carrie needs a little of that too, doesn’t she?
9) Can’t Get There Without You by The Osmond Brothers. There comes a time that Carrie realizes that she really wants Jessie Mae to like her. She wants Jessie Mae to like the things that she does. I don’t believe that Carrie NEEDS Jessie Mae, but imagine how great it would be if they appreciated each other?
10) Save Me by The Osmond Brothers. This song is much like Can’t Get There Without You. Jessie Mae has the power to save Carrie and she doesn’t even realize it. This song makes Carrie long for something better.
11) Down By the Lazy River by The Osmond Brothers. This song is full of so much fun.. I feel like this is what Carrie is singing as she wants everyone to follow her down to the river that runs along her old house!
12) One Bad Apple by The Osmond Brothers….notice a trend?? I really have no excuse for this one. I just like the Osmonds and they seemed to fit the mood I wanted to create. (Now, you probably know too much about me.)
13) Mother-in-law by Ernie K. Doe. Well, I didn’t say Carrie was all good, did I?
When the clock tolled to ring in 2020 I would have told you that I was very happy with what the year was probably going to look like. Overshadowed had grown. We had a new group of volunteers. We made changes to have some of our newer volunteers take ownership in areas that we consider ministry. I had become a better planner and marketeer. We had a record number of season ticket holders and a fantastic season planned. In short, we had met every one of our goals for the year!
And then COVID. (I know. You are sick of hearing me say that, but honestly I have no other words.)
When COVID shut us down I went through almost depression. I lost my focus. I honestly didn’t have any idea what God wanted me to do.
Slowly, I started to use the time to LEARN. I joined Ken Davenport’s THE THEATER MAKERS. I took an instagram class (Not quite finished with that yet.) And I attended (Virtually) a Writer’s convention (She Writes For Him). All of this was life-changing for me. It sharpened my focus and gave me a little drive to put things into place so that I can be a better leader when we fully open again.
The most important lesson I learned? My voice hasn’t been silenced. I may not get to act/direct right now, but whether I write an email or a blog post…it is still my voice. God gave me lessons and stories–I should share them.
Lesson Two. I’m behind social media wise. I knew that of course, but if I want people to hear me I was told I have to catch up. So. I was encouraged to start a You Tube Channel. This was a big jump for me, but a group of very inspirational people gave me some great advice. Here’s hoping that together we can create content that will inspire others. By the way, it will really help me if you become a subscriber. At present, From the Wings doesn’t even show up in a search. Help!
My blog will still be once a week. My YouTube will probably be more like once a month. Today’s blog contains the first video. As an actor it is important to know the purpose of the spotlight, but are there dangers that you can avoid?
I hope you will support me in this new venture! Please make sure you become a subscriber! If there are topics you’d like to hear us explore please let me know!
I’d like to give a special thanks to Aaron Brewster and Abby Wilken for creative wisdom. I’d like to thank Yohannan Lee for his design of my new logo and for his help and artistic wisdom in getting everything set up. I’d like to thank Mike Larsen and Rebecca Leland for their support in lighting and recording. I’d like to give special thanks to Brianna Valentine for her leadership, organization, and direction and editing. I am so fortunate to have an incredible team.
As always the more you talk about what we have going on here-the more other people will hear.
It is tech week for us here at Overshadowed. In fact, we only have one dress rehearsal left before we open again on Thursday. I say again because we are recreating the show that we were in the middle of when COVID shut us down. Now, you would think that would be an easy thing to do. Recreate. But honestly, five months off caused us to have to relearn and change.
So, happy opening Thursday!
In the meantime I started thinking about show bags. I pulled mine out two weeks before I needed it because I was so excited to need one again!
I am always fascinated by what others pack. Here are a few things I feel are necessary.
1. Bobby pins, hair pins, metal pins, if you can name them, you need them! You really never know exactly when one of these will come in handy. Don’t worry about having too many. They don’t spoil and somehow….they always disappear.
2. Extra clothing for all extremes. Underwear, socks, hose, slippers, bathrobe or some cover-up, hoodie, leggings. Be prepared. Show conditions are just different and you don’t want to panic because you spilled or sweat through your cloths and other horrors that you don’t really want to face.
3. A first-aid kit. (I am notorious for borrowing. I never seem to have what I need) Here are a few thoughts. Bandaids, Advil (Or some equivalent) Antiseptic, throat lozenges, allergy medicine, ace bandage.
4. Snacks. Tech week has a history of having longer rehearsals than normal. Do yourself a favor and don’t forget to pack food. Please be respectful of a theater’s rule for what your can eat in costume!
5. Wet Wipes. This is a must! You can use them for so much! Make-up on your costume? Wet wipes. And the list goes on….
6. Notebook and pen. As a director I wish all actors would just write down the things I tell them. In the moment you might be convinced that you will remember, but let’s face it, if you write it down you will be able to review and be on top of your game come show time. It would make a good journal too so that you always remember how you were feeling during this show.
7. Deodorant. Please!
8. Cards or a game. Just in case.
9. Make-up bag. In this I include extra hair ties, Glasses or extra contacts.
10. Toothbrush and toothpaste, gum, mints. Again. Please!
I pack all of that and still have times that I wish I had thought of something else. A show bag is a necessity and luxury all rolled up into one. What do you put in yours?
I’d love to hear what you think! Or even see a picture of your bag!
Next week we open “The Trip to Bountiful” for the second time. As we stepped back into the theater to begin our rehearsals we discussed all the ways we have changed in the past 5 months. Some good. Some bad. Some really, really bad.
One of the terrible wastes of time I have added to my daily routine is how much time I have been spending on social media. Again, some good and some bad. At first, I was seeking information on Covid. I was frightened and worried and I watched the numbers of cases and deaths rise. I couldn’t get enough information.
Next, I became bored. I played games. I tried to learn a few new things. I played more games. I constantly checked all of my social media platforms hoping to have some sort of interaction with another human.
Then, I started noticing the message my phone sent me every week. You might know the one? “Your screen time is up 7% this week for an average daily total of 5 hours a day.”
“Excuse me, what? I wasted 5 hours of my day doing…..nothing???”
Well, it kept me from going crazy….I guess. I guess I have a problem. I am an addict.
Now we add the next level of concern to this problem….or epidemic.
This week Netflix released a new documentary. It is called The Social Dilemma. To be honest, I haven’t watched it yet. It is on our agenda to watch Sunday night. (Chuck and I have documentary Sundays. It is our new thing to try to not run out of stuff to watch. It might not work. Stay tuned.)
This new documentary is supposed to have interviews with the main people who have created all the hot social media platforms. I know it comes as no surprised to you, but these platforms are designed to compel us to spend as much time as possible on these platforms. And willingly we do it.
My husband once said to me, “The second you got an IPHONE you gave them the permission to track you.” By now we all know that there is a little truth to that. We search for directions and receipts and entertainment choices. With each search they discover and collect a little more knowledge. We are willingly allowing this to happen.
Now, let me tell you what compelled me to write this.
I follow a blog. BeautyBeyondBones https://beautybeyondbones.com Honestly, if you have never read anything by her, please do so. I so admire that she has the guts to speak out for her faith and is so convicting to me. She is definitely my favorite blogger. I find myself constantly thinking, “What has happened to me that I don’t have the courage to speak like she does?”
This past week she wrote, “WE are the Product.” In it she discussed the documentary that I mentioned, but here is where my jaw dropped. I quote: “So…with social media now being a main source of news for people…what happens when the gatekeeper of information is literally in the business of manipulation?” Caralyn then sites that she had written something on Thursday, called A Tale of Two Political Nuns. That post was a beautifully written pro-life article. She says that she received an email on Thursday from Facebook saying that the post was rejected for violating “community standards.”
People. Friends. Since when does it make me not part of a community if I don’t believe in abortion???
She then goes on to explain that this is the fourth time Facebook has censored her articles.
So now I ask you, do we have something to fear that we are allowing so much of our time to be sucked away by companies that are against the very things we are for?
I am not sure if I’m more concerned about my data being manipulated or my voice being ignored but I do think I’m alarmed.
I will be watching the documentary on Sunday. I’m sure my eyes will be open even more. Until then, make sure your voice is not silenced.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this! Please leave a comment, follow and share!
This month I tackled four books! They were all very different and I loved the places they took me. You will find in my book reviews I am going to be very honest about the way I feel about each book. Please understand that I do not intend to be mean about the reasons I do not like something, but I feel that my words matter so if I don’t like it–I won’t mince words. More about that when we get to book number 3.
First up, a dear friend of mine suggested that I read this. I have read several of Susan Meissner’s books and always enjoyed them so it was not a hard sell to get me to purchase this book. I knew it was about the Spanish Flu. I didn’t know; however, how often I would check to see when this book was published. I felt like someone had taken pages out of 2020 and written a fiction story about it. Eye-opening would be an understatement.
From the book cover:
“In 1918, Philadelphia was a city teeming with promise. Even as its young men went off to fight in the Great War, there were opportunities for a fresh start on its cobblestone streets. Into this bustling town, came Pauline Bright and her husband, filled with hope that they could now give their three daughters–Evelyn, Maggie, and Willa–a chance at a better life.
But just months after they arrive, the Spanish Flu reaches the shores of America. As the pandemic claims more than twelve thousand victims in their adopted city, they find their lives left with a world that looks nothing like the one they knew. But even as they lose loved ones, they take in a baby orphaned by the disease who becomes their single source of hope. Amidst the tragedy and challenges, they learn what they cannot live without–and what they are willing to do about it.”
As Bright As Heaven is the story of the Bright family; Thomas and Pauline and their daughters Maggie, Evelyn, and Willa.
I may have mentioned before that I don’t particularly care for books that are told from alternate points of view. So when I discovered that each chapter alternates between each of the females in this story– different points of view–I wasn’t a fan. It always seems to take me a little more time to attach myself to the characters when they each take a turn telling the story. If that doesn’t bother you then this book might be for you!
This historical novel is based on the 1918 Spanish flu epidemic that wiped out nearly fifty million people worldwide, though very few people know much if anything about it.
The story is a dark one. At least it was to me. It might be the timing for me. Perhaps it is because I watch the news every day and see the death totals rise or maybe because I heard the stories of the bodies in New York that didn’t have graves because there was no time or place to accomplish a proper burial. All in all, reading this book made me think of everything we are going through now. On the other hand it was also incredibly hopeful. Life goes on. There is always hope.
There is also something to be said for a story that doesn’t wrap everything up into a neat little package. The reality is that, at times, we all hurt in our real lives. The events in As Bright as Heaven make our hearts hurt a little and that’s okay. The events are written with love to answer the following question posed by the author at the end of the book concerning the fact that death will come for us all one day.
“How does this knowledge that we are mortal affect our choices? The risks we take? The risks we don’t? …… We are, all of us, living out the stories of our lives. Each of our stories will end, in time, but meanwhile, we fill the pages of our existences with all the love we can, for as long as we can. This is how we make a life.”
By far my favorite thing about the book was the details about the Spanish Flu. I loved her acknowledgements and resources at the end of the book. Susan described vividly the impact of the flu on the old and young alike-even making us consider the children who ultimately have family and friends die. Sometimes having to consider if their own carelessness caused the death of their loved one. Ouch! Sound like something we are experiencing now?
It is important to note that she reminds us that even if you cannot see the wounds no one escaped without wounds of some sort.
“We only see a little bit of our stories at a time, and the hard parts remind us too harshly that we’re fragile and flawed. But it isn’t all hard. Your story isn’t all hard parts. Some of it is incredibly beautiful.”
You think you have a view of what’s waiting for you just up the road, but then something happens, and you find out pretty quick you were looking at the wrong road.”
“I think that grief is such a strange guest, making its home in a person like it’s a new thing that no one has ever experienced before.”
“Home isn’t a place where everything stays the same; it’s a place where you are safe and loved despite nothing staying the same.”
Who should read this? If you love historical fiction this book is for you. The details alone make it worth it.
Warnings: Death is almost its own character in this book so it is dark and heavy at times.
Book #2Educated by TaraWestover
Turning toward our house on the hillside, I see movements of a different kind, tall shadows stiffly pushing through the currents. My brothers are awake, testing the weather. I imagine my mother at the stove, hovering over bran pancakes. I picture my father hunched by the back door, lacing his steel-toed boots and threading his callused hands into welding gloves. On the highway below, the school bus rolls past without stopping.
I am only seven, but I understand that it is this fact, more than any other, that makes my family different: we don’t go to school.
–from Educated by Tara Westover.
The inside cover of the book jacket reads: “Tara Westover was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her ‘head for the hills’ bag. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged metal in her father’s junkyard.”
After reading that and a few other details about how Tara was raised you open the book and read this:
“This story is not about Mormonism. Neither is it about any other form of religious belief. In it there are many types of people, some believers, some not; some kind, some not. The author disputes any correlation, positive or negative, between the two.”
And instantly I am intrigued. I read this book at the urging of my husband. He read it and couldn’t wait to talk to me about it. I dragged my feet. The title sounded boring and I’m not really a non-fiction reader. I much prefer to escape in my reading. But I read her note and wondered, “What are you going to tell us about that makes you write a disclaimer like that???”
What we know:
Tara Westover grew up in an extreme survivalist Mormon family in Idaho. She didn’t receive a birth certificate for years, she didn’t go to school, and never went to the doctor. Although many details seem to be debatable she must have received enough home-schooling from her mother or other siblings along with effort she put into it herself to allow herself to gain entrance into Brigham Young University.
Although that is an amazing part of the story, much of the memoir is about her childhood.
Tara is the youngest of seven children. Her three oldest brothers experienced a different early childhood than the younger Westover children did. Tony, Shawn, and Tyler were allowed to attend school for a few years before Tara’s dad, Gene, began to get paranoid that the federal government would come and interfere, like the FBI did to the Weaver family.
There is something about the way Tara writes that is fascinating to me. I could easily picture her working in the salvage yard, or singing on stage or looking at all the burns and injuries that she dealt with over the years. She writes in a way that just makes you “see” it-almost experience it with her. It indeed did almost seem fictional that Tara could have escaped the countless incidents that she tells us about. Chapter after chapter has us holding our breath for tragedy the family will experience. How can so much happen to one family??
I connected with Tara not because I have ever experienced the horrors that she had, but there was something in her writing that pulled me along. I wanted to cheer for her. She helped me see things through her eyes. She gives several notations through the book that other people in her family don’t remember things the way she does and honestly, that was also okay with me.
Whoever we are, we hear and listen through the lens of our own experiences. We analyze what has happened through that lens. So when you tell a story it might not be the same way your sister remembers it. I thought it made Tara more human to me.
Much of Tara’s younger years are filled with horrific instances. As she tells story after story you root for her to get away–go somewhere safe.
She finally makes it onto campus and immediately begins to judge the people she lives with. “This person wears clothes too tight and too short. That person works on Sunday!”
I had to put the book down.
Not because I didn’t like it. But because it caused me to look at myself.
How often have we prejudged someone because we have been taught that a simple act of wearing the wrong color lipstick or dress at the knees instead of below the knees makes them a….”—–“?Tara carried the lessons of her family with her. She couldn’t escape them. Sometimes we are not that far removed from the very things we dislike in others.
There are other moments that are more horrifying. Burns and injuries, beatings and abuse. Sadly, all done by the people that are supposed to love you and protect you. I think that is one of the saddest parts about the book is that I think Tara really loved her family, but couldn’t live with their beliefs and behaviors any longer.
Do you think that perhaps Tara wrote the book to “educate” others? Do you think she wrote it so that it would heal what was broken in her?
After I finished this book I began to search the web for stories from her family. I wanted to know how they responded to the stories she told. I discovered that many people are not sure the book is indeed true.
Interesting. I will let you do your own research to make that decision for yourself. Once thing is sure. She definitely is educated now! She even has her PH.D. That is inspiring enough for any read.
“To admit uncertainty is to admit to weakness, to powerlessness, and to believe in yourself despite both. It is a frailty, but in this frailty there is strength: the conviction to love in your own mind, and not in someone else’s.”
“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them,” she says now. “You can miss a person every day, and still be glad that they are no longer in your life.”
“It’s strange how you give the people you love so much power over you, Ihad written in my journal. But Shawn had more power over me than I could possibly have imagined. He had defined me to myself, and there’s no greater power than that.”
“what a person knows about the past is limited, and will always be limited, to what they are told by others.”
“The most powerful determinant of who you are is inside you,” he said. “Professor Steinberg says this is Pygmalion. Think of the story, Tara.” He paused, his eyes fierce, his voice piercing. “She was just a cockney in a nice dress. Until she believed in herself. Then it didn’t matter what dress she wore”.”
I could go on and on. I really really loved this book. I hope you will pick it up and read it and then I’d love to hear what you think.
Who should read this book? Adults who love stories about beating the odds. Those who love memoirs. Those who believe in family. Those who believe in the power of education.
Warnings: Extreme graphic violence and abuse. Not for sensitive minds.
I did not finish this book. I almost didn’t list it at all, because I honestly don’t want to promote this book. However, as I contemplated that fact, I realized that if I had seen a negative review such as this then I wouldn’t have wasted my money. So, here goes.
I am soooo disappointed in this book. I was excited to read something that was advertised as having “strong female friendship.” I loved the book cover and it’s colors and I felt like it was going to be a fun book to read. The book was recommend by one of the the book blogs I follow. It was recommended by someone that I thought would put a content warning if necessary.
I don’t necessarily consider myself as being a hyper sensitive reader, but the language choices and sexual content was extreme. When I got to the first swear word I paused. I read a little more and was confronted with a sexual innuendo. I wondered if I was reading too much into it and letting my mind fill in the wrong blanks so I kept reading. I’m sorry to say that I feel I read too much. The thought, “Set no wicked thing before mine eyes” kept going through my head so I finally said “enough was enough” and put the book away.
My take away:
Don’t just wholeheartedly read books that get recommended to you. Take a moment and do a little research to make sure you have the same values/opinions as those who are doing the recommending.
Book #4 If For Any Reason by Courtney Walsh
From the book cover:
“Emily Ackerman has traveled the world, her constant compass and companion a book of letters her mother left for her when she died. With no father in the picture, her mom’s advice has been her only true north. But when professional failure leads Emily back to Nantucket to renovate and sell the family cottage she inherited, she wonders if her mom left advice to cover this . . . especially when her grandmother arrives to “supervise.” And especially when her heart becomes entangled with Hollis McGuire, the boy next door–turned–baseball star who’s back on the island after a career-ending injury.
As sparks fly between her and Hollis, Emily is drawn to island life, even as she uncovers shocking secrets about the tragic accident that led to her mother’s death. With her world turned upside down, Emily must choose between allowing the voices from her past to guide her future or forging her own path forward.”
I’m pretty sure most anyone who is reading this blog right now has already heard of Courtney Walsh. If not, then hurry up and get your hands on any of the books she has written.
Courtney is my new favorite author. There are probably many reasons, but at the top is her wonderful writing style. Her word choices paint a picture for me that almost has me smelling the salt air and feeling the sand between my toes.
This particular book charmed me for another reason.
When Emily arrives in Nantucket she pulls her suitcase through town on the way to her Grandparent’s beach home. (Yes, I said beach) She suddenly finds herself looking at the arts center and entering the building and looking at the empty stage. I was hooked. I loved that so much of who Emily was started on that stage.
The characters were incredibly human and realistic, but my favorite character was Emily’s mom. We mainly hear her voice through the letters that Emily carries with her and we instantly realize the importance of such a treasure.
Families are complicated and navigating through this one kept me captivated and breathless as I turned page after page.
I loved that the story has layers. It isn’t just a light romantic read. Each character is thought out and comes with their own backstory, pain and dreams.
Sometimes you just want to sit down and read something that entertains you and sweeps you away. But if you can add plot and depth to your story you truly have discovered something priceless.
Who should read this book? Lovers of clean romantic fiction. If you like an entertaining story that tugs at your heart-strings. You should read this story if you love to read about the relationships between mothers and daughters. If you love Courtney Walsh!
That’s it for this month! Please let me know if you have read any of these books. Also, I’d love it if you would share these reviews and follow me!
By the way, I do not receive any compensation if you chose to order one of these books. It’s just me sharing my love of reading!