I’m basically a very happy person. I’ll admit though–the last couple of years have been rougher than normal. I used the COVID shut down to sharpen some of my skills and pursue avenues that I normally don’t have time for. In some ways it didn’t work out for me.
In trying to have a voice and encouraging others to “think for themselves”- I was attacked verbally for being in a “conservative bubble.” The person accused me of posting things that “weren’t true for the purpose of inflaming the population”. In the end, she unfriended me. I also had family issues that have not gone away. Why do I say all of that? Because in the midst of struggles you wonder what it is you are supposed to be doing in this world.
I am a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, child of God, teacher, director, actor, author, planner, encourager, motivator, speaker, founder of a non-profit, proud American…. is there more? Maybe. I have always had big dreams.
Do I want more? That is such a difficult question. I am content.
I’ve been able to work in a non-paying job for years and not resent it because I felt so strongly about my purpose and I guess my “why.” (Although I’ve never put it into those words before.)
Why do I exist? Why has God allowed my to have another day on this earth? Am I doing all that He wants me to?
There are times that I feel that I can never be enough. I am swiftly reminded that God doesn’t NEED me, but that if I am willing He can and will USE me.
So, do I want more? YES! Because somehow there is a need in me to KNOW that I am making a difference.
Is that what humanity is all about? Even though we don’t want to be proud or want attention, we still have something inside us that needs to have a little attention. It is an endless cycle.
At times I feel like I came to the party too late. Sometimes I feel that the people that can influence others need to be younger and beautiful. Yet, there is a wisdom that comes from experience and as I live more of life I know that my speech becomes more bold and more confident.
My message? It’s not too late.
I think I always knew what my purpose was. I think I just wasn’t confident to own it.
In this upside down mess of a world we are living in can you say what your purpose is? What keeps you going? Who do you have influence over? Did the last few years make you forget? Make you afraid?
It’s not too late.
My parents used to tell me that for each and every experience I had in life there was someone that could learn from me and my journey. Amazingly enough, the tough experiences have been shared time after time. I can hear the voices of wisdom in my head as I share. The same will be for you. Turn your worse fears, hurts, disappointments and failures into life lessons for all of us. For every fear you face there are 100 of us who can learn from you.
Could that be WHY you faced the things you did? Because one of us might NEED you?
That’s why I write. That’s why I have theater camps. That’s why I started Overshadowed.
I’m sure there is a girl or boy out there that needs to know their voice matters.
All you have to do is open your mouth and be willing to speak.
What is your why?
I believe in you!
I would love to hear your whys! Please take a moment to like, share and follow!
Until next time, this is just me, talking to you, from the wings!
6 thoughts on “Questioning My Purpose”
Yes, Reba—knowing my purpose is a huge motivator. Especially when done for the glory of God. Thanks for your honesty, friend.💗
Thank you for all of your encouragement!
You forgot a very important role…you are a friend. A friend to many, many people. God gives us opportunities to have many commas after our name as to what we have done, but the most important (IMHO), are those titles of daughter, wife, mother, grandmother , child of God, and of course, friend. I know if you had sibs, that would be listed as well.
We learn and grow so much with our friends, our true friends., and sometimes with our acquaintances., too.
I just didn’t want you to FORGET the important role you play in your friends’ lives. ❤️
Oh! Thank you so much! Honestly, I did think about putting that , but changed my mind. Thank you, for reminding me of one of my cherished roles!
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Hi Reba, Thanks for sharing these thoughts of yours. I almost always read your blog, but have never commented on it. I appreciate your openness and willingness to be so transparent. You asked about our “why’s?” You affirmed that God gives us our purpose. And that God will use us if we are willing. I marvel at how He has used Overshadowed in our lives! He put it on your heart to get it started, and could you ever have imagined how it would bless so many people???!!! Tom and I met in a theatre production as you may know, and it led to a joyful marriage of 50 years, with our kids and grandkids being involved in theatre too. And look at how many other marriages have resulted among Christians in OTP productions too!!! You have made a safe haven for fellowship and fun and growing relationships among the Body. At this point in my life with Bulbar ALS, I am still looking at my purpose too. I used to have my own “bucket list” but now I look at “God’s bucket list” for me. I am comforted by God I’m so many ways, and I want to share that comfort with others, as it says in 2 Cor 1:3-4. So I just wrote a devotional book based on the ALS acronym, “A Living Savior.” I journal each loss of function then call the reader to meditate on how Jesus has a name that meets those needs. For example, when an ALS patient loses the ability to eat, think of Jesus as the “Bread of Life.” It is out for review and endorsements now. I hope to have it self-published by Easter. Thanks, Reba, for encouraging us to share with you. It’s my “why,” one of the purposes I have to stay as healthy as I can right now, and it’s not too late! Love in Christ, Sharon
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Thank you so very much for sharing all of those thoughts! You are such a source of blessing and inspiration to me. I didn’t know you were writing a book! That is fantastic and I can’t wait to buy a copy! Thank you for being such a picture of God and the idea that even when circumstances change we still have a “voice”. We pray for you continually.
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